Everything in my life has been going so well lately. I’ve been healthier than I have felt in a long time. Work is good. My writing is taking me to places I’d never before dreamt were a possibility. My confidence in myself has been sky high.
Tuesday I had what could only be described as a full body headache. My whole body felt like someone was inside it, beating me with hammers. It wasn’t pleasant. Wednesday I woke up with the flu. The ache has drifted into the background as it’s been replaced by dizziness, coughing that could wake dead and an inability to stand upright for more than a few minutes. Today, I still feel like death on toast.
So why am I over sharing in the blog? Because I wanted to make sure Writing in Shadows was updated regularly, and this flu has knocked me on my arse. I’ve gone from writing daily – both here and in my novel – to not being able to get my mind to focus. It’s still not focused.
What is focused though – after 3 days of lying on my back in bed watching TV – is my Muse. She’s raring to get going again. She’s giving me new ideas incase the problem is my novel and not the flu. She’s suggested a couple of TV show ideas, a new fantasy trilogy to be written and two separate characters to be the focus of a pair of queer cozy mysteries series. One, about an events planner is a standard Cozy Mystery only it’s main character is a gay male, not a middle aged woman fresh from divorce. The second, combines the elements of a cozy mystery with gay erotica. I quite like that idea. Not enough to stop writing Book One of the Darkened North series, but enough to start fiddling about with story ideas.
As my confidence grows, I find myself more willing to take risks. Even if those risks are actually delusions brought about by having the flu. While sitting here a little while ago I made a decision I was surprised about. I’d been considering getting a degree now my confidence has grown. The realisation I don’t need one to do what I want to do with my life is a major change in focus for me. I’ve always thought without a degree I’d be perceived as stupid. I realised today, that perception is mine alone.
I don’t need a degree to write. I do it anyway. Occasionally I do it well. Whether or not I’m ever professionally published doesn’t matter. Hell, having a bazillion 1 star reviews on Amazon doesn’t matter either. I write because without writing I have nothing to do. I aim to be read to entertain, not to cure cancer or change the world. If people like what I write, awesome. If not, that’s their loss. Regardless, having a degree won’t make people like what I write any more than not having a degree.
So, no procrastinating for another 6 years. I might get a degree when I retire. Then again, if all goes according to plan, I’ll write until I drop dead of old age, so retirement won’t be an option.