So as I think I’ve mentioned on here before, I tend to be a bit shy when it comes to anything other than twitter. I rarely take risks. I guess you could say my life is as risk averse as it is possible to be for a 40 year old corporate writer who lives with 3 rag doll cats and his parents.
I could blame it on a lot of things I guess, but to be honest, I’ve always had a fear of being in the spot light or being noticed. Strange given I tend to be the loudest smart arse in the room at any given time. I have my comfort zone though, and I never really step 1 un-manicured toe across the line.
Yesterday a friend read my latest screenplay. I rarely, if ever, let anyone read my writing. When I write, it tends to sit on my computer, or live printed in a drawer. Over the past year I’ve worked occasionally on a gay themed short film called Butterfly. I needed someone else to run a critical eye over it.
I got a message today telling me how good it was and how much she enjoyed it. There were a couple of bits that read in a way I didn’t want them to, so I’ll be doing a bit of a re-write over the weekend. Once that is done, I’m pretty certain Butterfly will be finished.
While we were talking, my friend mentioned another piece she’d read, a short film I wrote while studying at the Australian Writers’ Centre in May 2012. The short “Young at Heart” was the first time I’d written anything in years. It’s lived on my computer for the past two years. When it was reviewed by the class instructor, he told me he thought it was ready to be made.
I will admit to a sense of “oh how cool” which was rapidly met with “he’s just being nice, don’t let it see the light of day.”
My friend had read it and had loved it when it was first finished. She asked tonight what I was going to do with it. I told her I’d love to see it made, but I had no idea how to go about it. So she sent me a link to a theatre group, and their monthly workshop night “Script-In-Hand.”
I had a look at the website and had the following conversation in my head;
Me1: This looks really cool, I wonder if I should submit Young at Heart.
Me2: Don’t be stupid, they’re professionals, they’ll laugh at you.
Me1: Possibly, but it does look like an interesting experience. Maybe I will.
*opens hotmail account*
Me2: Don’t you dare open a new email, it’s not ready yet.
*opens new email and attaches PDF of the screenplay*
Me2: Don’t press send, it’s stupid, no one is going to like it. Wait, how about we think about it for a little while, not too long, just a year or two
Me1: Holy shit what have I done!
So I submitted Young at Heart, and I’ve decided that once I do the slight rewrite on the scene in Butterfly that isn’t quite right, I’ll submit that one two.
I’m getting too old to sit around waiting for a life, or a career. If I want to be a writer, to see my words acted out on screen, I have to start sticking that un-manicured toe outside my comfort zone.
Whether or not either script is selected for the program doesn’t matter. What matters is I sucked it up, and submitted the short script for consideration. What matters most to me though is I think it’s ready to be seen, and I trust that I’ve done a good enough job for others who will read it to think the same thing.
Like paying off my credit card, it’s not a big thing to anyone but me, but for me, it feels like another major step forward, into a whole new world… I hope.