Over the past couple of week’s I’ve gotten myself all tangled up in what I want to be when I grow up. It wasn’t until the weekend that I realised it’s not what I want to be, but who I need to be, that is the key.
I realised it’s all about how I view my reality. Am I a writer? Am I a businessman? Am I a lion tamer in the circus? Or am I none of those things and something else altogether.
I am sober. I know that for a fact. My brain is still in the process of waking up after a near 20 year immersion in fermented grape juice. Energy is here, then it’s there, then it’s running in circles jumping up and down. It’s an interesting place to be. I like it.
I am not a student. I know that. I knew that. I still enrolled in a degree to keep someone else happy. It gave me the opportunity to ignore my own dreams with a perfectly legitimate excuse. Studying part time while working full time meant no time for writing or dreaming.
I withdrew from the course for the final time yesterday. Maybe when I retire and I’m looking for something to keep my brain active I’ll consider another degree, but not now. Not while I have a day job, and a dream job.
I wrote last night I may never be a Hollywood Producer, but I will be a successful Australian writer/producer of GLBT themed web series, short films, tv shows and hopefully movies. That is what I am dedicated 2013 to. That is the path I will walk.
I have several ideas – and a 7 episode web series drafted – to work on. If the world doesn’t blow up on December 21st I plan on dedicated myself to those ideas. To that journey. Wherever it takes me.
The point of this short post is sometimes you need to look outside of the expectations of others and simply do what you feel in your gut is right. If you keep ignoring the call, and it keeps coming back, then it has to be the right choice to make.